Bloomsbury Publishing

You Can't Catch Me and You Can't Put Mustard in the Custard were first published twenty-five years ago and were groundbreaking in that they were full-colour illustrated new poems for children. You Can't Catch Me won the Signal Poetry Award in 1982. Both books went on to be bestsellers and both poet and artist are stellar names in the world of children's books. The book includes an introduction by Michael Rosen and an audio CD of the book, with all the poems also read by Michael. Michael's brilliantly conversational poetry is fantastically matched by Quentin Blake's loopy yet perfectly detailed art. It is a partnership that Bloomsbury is proud to be making newly available.

In fin-de-siecle Copenhagen, part-time prostitute Charlotte and her lumpen sidekick, Fru Schleswig, have taken on jobs as cleaning ladies of dubious talent to tide them over the harsh winter of 1897. But the home of their neurotic new employer, the widow Krak, soon reveals itself to be riddled with dark secrets — including the existence of a demonic machine rumoured to swallow people alive. Rudely catapulted into twenty-first-century London, the hapless duo discover a whole new world of glass, labour-saving devices and hectic, impossible romance.

It is 1939. Eva Delectorskaya is a beautiful 28-year-old Russian emigree living in Paris. As war breaks out, she is recruited for the British Secret Service by Lucas Romer, a mysterious Englishman, and under his tutelage she learns to become the perfect spy, to mask her emotions and trust no one, including those she loves most. Since the war, Eva has carefully rebuilt her life as a typically English wife and mother. But once a spy, always a spy. Now she must complete one final assignment, and this time Eva can't do it alone: she needs her daughter's help.

Armpit and X-Ray are living in Austin, Texas. It is three years since they left the confines of Camp Green Lake Detention Centre and Armpit is taking small steps to turn his life around. He is working for a landscape gardener because he is good at digging holes, he is going to school and he is enjoying his first proper romance, but is he going to be able to stay out of trouble when there is so much building up against him? In this exciting novel, Armpit is joined by many vibrant new characters, and is learning what it takes to stay on course, and that doing the right thing is never the wrong choice.

Give me a dollar or I'll spit on you. That's Bradley Chalker for you. He is the oldest child in the class. He tells enormous lies. He picks fights with girls, and the teachers say he has serious behaviour problems. No one likes him — except Carla, the new school counsellor. She thinks Bradley is sensitive and generous, and she even enjoys his far-fetched stories. Carla knows that Bradley could change, if only he weren't afraid to try. Sometimes the hardest thing in the world is believing in yourself.

Angeline is brilliant! She knows way more than a child of her age ought to. When she is put up a class at school she finds that her intelligence doesn't equip her entirely for dealing with the pressures of being with the older group. Soon she is finding refuge with a teacher and her tropical fish and another unlikely student. With Louis Sachar's hallmark twist-and-turns of plot and lovely humour, this delightful novel is thought-provoking and brilliant.

Dumbledore lowered his hands and surveyed Harry through his half-moon glasses. 'It is time'', he said, 'for me to tell you what I should have told you five years ago, Harry. Please sit down. I am going to tell you everything.' Harry Potter is due to start his fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He is desperate to get back to school and find out why his friends Ron and Hermione have been so secretive all summer. However, what Harry is about to discover in his new year at Hogwarts will turn his whole world upside down...But before he even gets to school, Harry has an unexpected and frightening encounter with two Dementors, has to face a court hearing at the Ministry of Magic and has been escorted on a night-time broomstick ride to the secret headquarters of a mysterious group called 'The Order of the Phoenix'. And that is just the start. This is a gripping and electrifying novel, full of suspense, secrets, and — of course — magic.

The fictional world of Will Self is unlike any other. In «The Quantity Theory of Insanity» we learn, amongst other things, the dark and terrible secret of Ward 9, why you are right to think that London is full of dead people and that each and every human being is caught up in a colossal balancing act between the sane and the insane. «The Quantity Theory of Insanity» is acerbic, satirical, hilarious and, most of all, utterly unique in imaginative vision.

Harriet is invited to help her detective aunts, Thessalonika and Japonica, investigate serious cheating in the world of horse racing. Initially excited by this prospect, Harriet quickly begins to regret getting involved. Will Harriet overcome her fears and find out who is causing Mr Fetlock's horses to lose all their races? Hold on tight for this bumpy ride!

Harriet's invited to accompany her aunts, Thessalonica and Japonica to America. She's terribly excited, knowing very well that with two expert detectives for aunts, this is going to be no ordinary trip. She soon discovers, to her enormous surprise, that they're actually on their way to see her sixth aunt, Formica! And as if this weren't surprising enough, she finds out that Aunt Formica is a cowgirl, and the reason for their visit is to help her catch some rustlers that have been stealing cattle from her ranch. Harriet and her three aunts must move like greased lightening if they're to get on the trail of the slippery cattle thieves. It's time to saddle-up and yee-ha!

Richard and Lelia's child is conceived in a moment of giggling chaos as they dress for a Christmas party. They arrive rudely late and still glowing, and barely register a slight, drab woman in the hall. Sylvie. As their baby grows, so does the presence of Sylvie — she seems to be nowhere, yet everywhere, harmless yet sinister. Richard is seduced by her subtle, inexplicable charm, while Lelia, struggling with Richard's sudden ambivalence towards their baby, finds that she is haunted by painful memories. And Sylvie remains as invisible as she wants to be — that is the source of her power. Beware of mice.

One day, out of the blue, Harriet Bean's dad says to her, 'Your aunts would like to hear about that!' Harriet is shocked — this is the first time she's heard anything about any aunts, and suddenly, she has five of them! Naturally, she's very curious to meet them, especially as her dad has told her that they each have a rather special ability (apart from Aunt Majolica who's just extremely bossy). The trouble is, the family was split up years ago and they all lost touch with one another. Will Harriet be able to reunite her dad with his sisters and enable the family portrait that was started many years ago to finally be completed? She is determined, and starts her quest for the five missing aunts with a trip to the circus.

Marvin is not a happy sheep. All the other sheep are bigger than him, and can run faster and jump higher than he can. So Marvin decides to do something about it. He eats. And eats, and eats, until he is so big that there is nothing left for him to eat in the world — at which point Marvin eats the world itself! But that is a step too far, and what went in is going to have to come out. This is a rumbustious story that shows how it is possible to take some self-improvement just a little bit too far.

This new collection of short stories from T. C. Boyle finds him at his mercurial best. Inventive, wickedly funny, sometimes disturbing, these are stories about drop-outs, deadbeats and kooks. Take the man who shares his apartment with a wildcat won in a drunken bet; the drive-time shock jock hallucinating from sleep deprivation for a publicity stunt; the suburban woman who joins a pack of dogs, eating rabbits and baying at the moon. With a unique deftness of touch and a keen eye for the telling detail, Boyle has mapped the strange underworld of America.

What do you buy someone for their 500th birthday? Araminta is desperately trying to think of the perfect gift for her favourite ghost, Sir Horace, but it’s hard to buy gifts for someone with no specific hobbies, and no body. Then an inspired idea leads to trouble when all does not go as planned, and Araminta wonders whether she’ll ever see Horace or her family again, let alone have time to organise the party.

Updated to include new terms and references, this workbook helps nonnative English speakers improve their knowledge and understanding of core medical terminology. Students, nurses, doctors, and other medical staff can test and build their medical English vocabulary with a combination of self-study exercises, practical speaking activities, and amusing crosswords, puzzles, and word games. Ideal for home and class-based study, these exercises ensure that language is not a barrier for medical professionals whose first language is not English.

Containing over 13,000 entries, this fully revised new edition of the bestselling Dictionary of Business provides comprehensive coverage of all aspects of business, from the office to the stock exchange and international trade affairs, as well as e-commerce and many business-related Internet terms. It is ideal for professionals who need to know business terms, including non-native speakers of English, and for all students of business. Terms are explained in clear, simple English, easily understandable by readers with no specialist knowledge, and each entry has a sample sentence to show how the term is used in context, with quotations from magazines and newspapers. The Dictionary also includes useful supplements on telephone manner, business letters, financial documents and world currencies.

Updated to include the latest technology, this revised edition includes more than 10,000 words, expressions, and samples of terminology relating to the printing and publishing industry and allied trades. The covered topics include papermaking, ink, printing and binding machinery, bookselling, typesetting, desktop publishing and design, copyright, editing, commissioning, contracts, rights, and electronic publishing. Essential tools, such as proof correction marks, book prizes and awards, book formats and paper sizes, and alphabets and symbols make this the ideal desk reference.

It is winter, somewhere in the United Kingdom, and an eight-year-old boy is removed from his home and family in the middle of the night. He learns that he is the victim of an extraordinary experiment. In an attempt to reform society, the government has divided the population into four groups, each representing a different personality type. The land, too, has been divided into quarters. Borders have been established, reinforced by concrete walls, armed guards and rolls of razor wire. Plunged headlong into this brave new world, the boy tries to make the best of things, unaware that ahead of him lies a truly explosive moment, a revelation that will challenge everything he believes in and will, in the end, put his very life in jeopardy…

The evil necromancer DomDaniel has been disposed of, but something Darke is stirring. A Shadow pursues ExtraOrdinary Wizard Marcia Overstrand around, following her every move, growing stronger every day. Septimus senses something sinister is afoot, but before he can act, Jenna is snatched — taken by the most unlikely kidnapper. Septimus must rescue his sister but does not, at first, realise what he will be facing.

It is the middle of the summer, but there is an unseasonal mist pressing against the windowpanes. Harry Potter is waiting nervously in his bedroom at the Dursley's house in Privet Drive for a visit from Professor Dumbledore himself. One of the last times he saw the headmaster was in a fierce one-to-one duel with Lord Voldemort, and Harry can't quite believe that Professor Dumbledore will actually appear at the Dursley's of all places. Why is the Professor coming to visit him now? What is it that cannot wait until Harry returns to Hogwarts in a few weeks' time? Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts has already got off to an unusual start, as the worlds of Muggle and magic start to intertwine…

A baby girl is rescued from a snowy path in the woods. A baby boy is stillborn. A young Queen is taken ill. An ExtraOrdinary Wizard mysteriously resigns from his post. And all on the same night. A string of events, seemingly unconnected, begins to converge ten years later, when the Heap family receive a knock at the door. The evil Necromancer DomDaniel is plotting his comeback and a Major Obstacle resides in the Heap family. Life as they know is about to change, and the most fantastically fast-paced adventure of confused identities, magyk and mayhem, begin.

101 of the most fascinating, most disgusting, most unbelievable facts — at your fingertips. Utterly addictive (but not illegal) will keep any 10+ child occupied at weekends, on holiday, in the evening... 101 marvellous facts, brilliantly explained: Why do we have nails? Why is the sky blue? Why can birds stand on electric wires and not be electrocuted? Educate your child with minimum effort, and in blissful peace and quiet. The perfect source of fascinating facts for any child who doesn't want to be Boring when they Grow Old.

The year is 1721, and handsome young Adam Hanaway has arrived in Lisbon, where his uncle is a merchant, hoping to restore the family fortune that was devastated the previous year. But almost nothing turns out as Adam planned. His family's welcome is cool, and his rise to the top is thwarted by his uncle's treacherous head clerk, Bartolomeu Gomes. Nor is Adam, with his gaudy clothes and swagger, an immediate success with fellow merchants. Of course there are many pretty distractions around, such as the incomparably sweet Gabriella. Then darker forces intervene, and Adam is expelled from the family firm for a crime of which he is innocent. Somehow he must clear his name, win his love, and make his fortune.