HarperCollins Publishers

Witty One-Liners By World's Crankiest Comic; A brand new collection of cutting-edge observational humour from George Carlin, the thinking person's comic and author of the New York Times best-seller Brain Droppings, which sold more than 700,000 copies in hardcover and paperback. With nearly twenty albums, two Grammys, two Cable Ace Awards and more HBO specials than anyone else to his credit, George Carlin is still as popular as ever, performing dozens of routines a year to standing-room-only audiences. Now this critically and commercially acclaimed comic shares all-new, cutting-edge opinion and observational humour in this, his funniest collection yet. For all who loved his first book and those who have just discovered him this will be a must-have.

February the fifteenth is a very special day for me. It is the day I gave birth to my first child. It is also the day my husband left me... I can only assume the two events weren't entirely unrelated. Claire has everything she ever wanted: a husband she adores, a great apartment, a good job. Then, on the day she gives birth to their first baby, James informs her that he's leaving her. Claire is left with a newborn daughter, a broken heart, and a postpartum body that she can hardly bear to look at. She decides to go home to Dublin. And there, sheltered by the love of a quirky family, she gets better. So much so, in fact, that when James slithers back into her life, he's in for a bit of a surprise.

A bear on Paddington Station? said Mrs Brown in amazement. Don't be silly — there can't be. The Browns first met Paddington on a railway station — Paddington station, in fact. He had travelled all the way from Darkest Peru with only a jar of marmalade, a suitcase and his hat. The Browns soon found that Paddington was a very unusual bear. Ordinary things — like having a bath, travelling underground or going to the seaside became quite extraordinary, if a bear called Paddington was involved.

Berlin is where Anna lived before Hitler, when she was still a German child; before she spoke a word of English, before her family had all become refugees. Long before her happy new existence in London. But Mama is there, dangerously ill. Anna is forced to go back, to deal with questions of life and death, to face old fears, and to discover the past which she has so long shut away.

It is hard enough being a teenager in London during the Blitz, finding yourself in love and wondering every night whether you will survive the bombs. But it is even harder for Anna, who is still officially classified as an enemy alien. Those bombs are coming from Germany — the country that was once her own. If Hitler invades, can she and her beloved refugee family possibly survive? This was previously published as. The Other Way Round.

Unpleasant things are going on in an exclusive school for girls — things like murder... Late one night, two teachers investigate a mysterious flashing light in the sports pavilion, while the rest of the school sleeps. There, among the lacrosse sticks, they stumble upon the body of the unpopular games mistress — shot through the heart from point blank range. The school is thrown into chaos when the 'cat' strikes again. Unfortunately, schoolgirl Julia Upjohn knows too much. In particular, she knows that without Hercule Poirot's help, she will be the next victim!

An elderly spinster has been poisoned in her country home! Everyone blamed Emily's accident on a rubber ball left on the stairs by her frisky terrier. But the more she thought about her fall, the more convinced she became that one of her relatives was trying to kill her. On April 17th she wrote her suspicions in a letter to Hercule Poirot. Mysteriously he didn't receive the letter until June 28th! by which time Emily was already dead!

Hercule Poirot stood on the cliff-top. Here, many years earlier, there had been a fatal accident. This was followed by the grisly discovery of two bodies — a husband and wife — shot dead. But who had killed whom? Was it a suicide pact? A crime of passion? Or cold-blooded murder? Poirot delves back into the past and discovers that «old sins leave long shadows».

One minute, silly Heather Badcock had been babbling on at her movie idol, the glamorous Marina Gregg. The next, Heather suffered a massive seizure, poisoned by a deadly cocktail. It seems likely that the cocktail was intended for the beautiful actress. But whilst the police fumble to find clues, Miss Marple begins to ask her own questions, because as she knows — even the most peaceful village can hide dark secrets.

New novel about men, love and relationships by the author of the Book of the Year, Man and Boy. Alfie Budd found the perfect woman with whom to spend the rest of his life, and then lost her. He doesn't believe you get a second chance at love. Returning to the England he left behind during the brief, idyllic time of his marriage, Alfie finds the rest of his world collapsing around him. He takes comfort in a string of pointless, transient affairs with his students at Churchill's Language School, and he tries to learn Tai Chi from an old Chinese man, George Chang. Will Alfie ever find a family life as strong as the Changs? Can he give up meaningless sex for a meaningful relationship? And how do you play it when the woman you like has a difficult child who is infatuated with a TV wrestler known as The Slab? Like his runaway bestseller, Man and Boy, Tony Parsons's new novel is full of laughter and tears, biting social comment and overwhelming emotion.

A handful of grain is found in the pocket of a murdered businessman...Rex Fortescue, king of a financial empire, was sipping tea in his 'counting house' when he suffered an agonising and sudden death. On later inspection, the pockets of the deceased were found to contain traces of cereals. Yet, it was the incident in the parlour which confirmed Jane Marple's suspicion that here she was looking at a case of crime by rhyme...

One Tuesday evening a group gathers at Miss Marple's house and the conversation turns to unsolved crimes — the case of the disappearing bloodstains, the thief who committed his crime twice, and the poisioned man's death-bed message which read «heap of fish», among others.

As part of the Collins wordlovers range, the Collins Thesaurus A-Z, Complete and Unabridged in COLOUR is ideal for everyone searching for that elusive word. As well as having the most up-to-date words and a vast number of synoyms and antonyms, this thesaurus also provides illustrative examples from real English. Related words, fixed phrases, and cross-references are also included to help expand your vocabulary. Handy word power notes give advice on good English and subject word lists ensure you access the information you want in the quickest time possible. Have confidence Unrivalled coverage of the most up-to-date words with all the latest alternatives. Get it right Illustrated examples from real English demonstrate usage. Get there fast Clear COLOUR layout for easy accessibility. Go further Quotations and lists for crossword solving and word games.

Shadow is a man with a past. But now he wants nothing more than to live a quiet life with his wife and stay out of trouble. Until he learns that she's been killed in a terrible accident. Flying home for the funeral, as a violent storm rocks the plane, a strange man in the seat next to him introduces himself. The man calls himself Mr. Wednesday, and he knows more about Shadow than is possible. He warns Shadow that a far bigger storm is coming. And from that moment on, nothing will ever he the same...

For the first time in A-format, the definitive collection of Tolkiens four acclaimed modern classic fairie tales in the vein of The Hobbit. Farmer Giles of Ham is fat and unheroic, but — having unwittingly managed to scare off a short-sighted giant — is called upon to do battle when the dragon Chrysophylax comes to town; The Adventures of Tom Bombadil tells by way of verse of Toms many adventures with hobbits, princesses, dwarves and trolls; Leaf by Niggle recounts the strange adventures of the pater Niggle who sets out to paint the perfect tree; Smith of Wootton Major journeys to the Land of Faery thanks to the magical ingredients of the Great Cake of the Feast of Good Children. The four tales are written with the same skill, quality and hallmarks that made Tolkiens Hobbit a classic. Largely overlooked because of their short lengths, they are finally together in a volume which reaffirms Tolkiens place as a master storyteller for readers young and old.

A prison break in South Florida brings together two different people — federal marshal Karen Sisco and bank robber Jack Foley — as their mutual fascination leads them to the heist of the year in Detroit and a confrontation with vici and brutal criminalsspecializing in home invasion.

Cohen the Barbarian. He's been a legend in his own lifetime. He can remember the good old days of high adventure, when being a Hero meant one didn't have to worry about aching backs and lawyers and civilization. But these days, he can't always remember just where he put his teeth... So now, with his ancient (yet still trusty) sword and new walking stick in hand, Cohen gathers a group of his old — very old — friends to embark on one final quest. He's going to climb the highest mountain of Discworld and meet the gods. It's time the Last Hero in the world returns what the first hero stole.

»Death has to happen. That’s what bein’ alive is all about. You’re alive, and then you’re dead. It can’t just stop happening.» But it can. And it has. So what happens after death is now less of a philosophical question than a question of actual reality. On the disc, as here, they need Death. If Death doesn’t come for you, then what are you supposed to do in the meantime? You can’t have the undead wandering about like lost souls. There’s no telling what might happen, particularly when they discover that life really is only for the living.

The phenomenal 20 million copy bestselling author and king of satirical fiction delivers another ingenious novel. The 26th installment in Terry Pratchett's worldwide bestselling Discworld series — published concurrently with the UK edition. Discworld is a topsy-turvy, magical place, carried serenely through the Universe on the back of the Great Turtle. In the comic tradition of Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide.

Eric is the Discworld's only demonology hacker. Pity he's not very good at it. All Eric wants is his three wishes granted — to be immortal, to rule the world, and to have the most beautiful woman in the world fall madly in love with him. But he ends up with Rincewind, the most incompetent wizard in the universe, and his extremely intractable and hostile travel accessory, known as the Luggage. With them on his side, Eric's in for a ride through space and time that is bound to make him wish that he'd never been born.

Newly-jacketed edition designed to celebrate the 50th Anniversary of Christies faultlessly plotted «Witness for the Prosecution» and other outstanding plays. The perfect complement to the latest edition of «The Mousetrap» and «Selected Plays» (50th Aniversary Edition). Headlining this book is «Witness for the Prosecution» — Christies highly successful stage play which won the New York Drama Critics Circle Award for best foreign play. A stunning courtroom drama, it tells the story of a scheming wife testifying against her husband in a shocking murder trial. The wild beauty of a seaside house perched high on «The Devonshire River Tern» provides a stunning back-drop in «Towards Zero» — as a psychopathic murderer homes in on the unsuspecting victims. Passion, murder and love are the deadly ingredients in Verdict, making it one of Christies more unusual thrillers and prompting her to label it the best play I have written with the exception of «Witness for the Prosecution». «Go Back for Murder» tells the story of the young and feisty Carla who, orphaned at the tender age of five, discovers her mother was imprisioned for murdering her father and determines to prove her innocence.

Its seven in the morning. The Bantrys wake to find the body of a young woman in their library. But who is she? How did she get there? And what is the connection with another dead girl, whose remains are discovered in an abandoned quarry? The Bantrys invite Miss Marple to solve the mystery.

The new-look series of Miss Marple books for the 21st century. As Jane Marple sat basking in the Caribbean sunshine she felt mildly discontented with life. True, the warmth eased her rheumatism, but here in paradise nothing ever happened. Eventually, her interest was aroused by an old soldiers yarn about a strange coincidence. Infuriatingly, just as he was about to show her an astonishing photograph, the Majors attention wandered. He never did finished the story...

The new-look series of Hercule Poirot books for the 21st century. An outbreak of kleptomania at a student hostel was not normally the sort of crime that aroused Hercule Poirots interest. But when he saw the list of stolen and vandalized items — including a stethoscope, some old flannel trousers, a box of chocolates, a slashed rucksack and a diamond ring found in a bowl of soup — he congratulated the warden, Mrs Hubbard, on a unique and beautiful problem. The list made absolutely no sense at all. But, reasoned Poirot, if this was merely a petty thief at work, why was everyone at the hostel so frightened?